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@amber_hawken
  • Light always trumps darkness. It always has, and it always will. Therefore... if you believe that your world is darkening...if you believe that the culture of your nation is growing dimmer by the year...don't blame it on the dark! Darkness is only doing what darkness does. If darkness is winning the battles, my friend, it is because light is not doing it's job. You are light. Get back to it. Who has every talked themselves into a nice mental cocktail of one or more of anxiety, shame, blame, guilt, future failure, future heartbreak, future rejection and thus not lived a great fucking life? **raises hand enthusiastically** Dudes, I do this also. In the last year, quite frequently. I could blame it on the patriarchal paradigm we’re tearing down one voice, one political movement, one boundary set, one unconditionally loving act at a time. I could say it’s because I’ve deepened my relationship with everything around me and this become an ultra sensitive being who needed to retreat for some time. Or I could just own that I’ve been in analysis paralysis for long enough to appreciate that darkness isn’t all that fun. I just forgot to be every now and again. We all do. And that’s okay. It’s learning, part of the adventure package of a soul filled meat bag. The point is, if you’re not being light, your allowing darkness. If your not being, you’re in analysis. There’s no wrong in the later. The darkness reminds us of our nature. When you see it or feel it, let it send you a message; pause, go back to your centre and now move forward. Simple really. Whenever you get a little too cuddly with fear, come back to yourself, love. Come back in. Go in. Go deeper. And more again. Who are you when you’re there? What are you? Where are you? I’ll give you a hint. You’re just being. That’s you, naturally. Do that. Go from there. It feels like. Probably because that’s what you are. So be it.
  • When I peek into my own darkness with an open heart I realise. There isn’t any darkness after all, only a lack of love. If you are waiting for anything in order to live fully and love unconditionally without holding back, then you suffer. You really fucking suffer. There are two steps to move out of suffering (give or take a few hundred depending on your style, taste of ego and willingness to let go). 1. Remember. Nothing that’s impermanent is real. It’s all just complicated, albeit, well organized, star dust changing form. Going from start to dust and back again all in an effort to remember that not only is it a part of this universe, it’s the element of everything that exists. This is self realization. Eg. you’re super pissed off at your partner for borrowing money. They’re a selfish prick. But wait. What if we take a look at how this happened. I’ll summarize. You want to say no to lending more but you’re afraid of you do, they’ll leave. So you keep giving. Giving with the desire to get something in return. You didn’t set boundaries and now you’re resenting then and feeling taken advantage of. What drove this situation was the fear of not being loved. As a result of you not loving yourself enough, you suffered. It looked like ‘their’ fault. But, no. Just a lack of love from yourself to yourself. Now we add in love to the darkness of a lack of self love and, viola, it’s light again. You walked yourself back home to you. 2. Open to any kind of suffering deeply enough to hold space but consciously enough to not live in it. Feel it but don’t feed it. Acknowledge it but don’t retell the story. Honor all that rises and then let it fall. Allow yourself to be moved by life and learn to watch it all pass through you. This love and openness isn’t something a “tough” guy or gal can master with ease. You can’t conquer love. It’s the opposition of power and such, it’s (the mind) very fucking afraid of it. Knowing or feeling the deep openness of life, suffering, love and, well, who you are is fairly easy; living as this openness, and serving all others to live as this love, in every moment through all appearances, is where the art is. Meet darkness with love.
  • A dedication to one of my favorite poets. Mary, you bloody legend. May you keep the poetry flowin’ whenever you’re not hanging out. In the darkest of dark and lightest of light, this will always give you strength. I like to say you’re still super brave if you borrow strength sometimes. #maryoliver
  • Worthiness. Like any worldly cliche is a simple paradox. Your worthiness will emerge from within the moment you stop trying to prove it's existence outside of yourself. You see, it's the neediness itself, for life or another to validate you, that cultivates the yearning for approval. Let. It. Go. That space of surrender that replaces the desire is called, "presence". And when you’re here, you’re no longer in that mindfuck of searching for evidence that you're enough. Worthiness and abundance, as cliche as it is, are places to live from, not work towards. It's the ultimate recipe for being able to see, train your mind and body and act from a place of power rather than scarcity. Apply this same, 'release the need to be able to have' with all of life. See what happens. Disclaimer: may not work with Nutella. Must insert own effort of returning to-your-centre regularly for guaranteed results. @loveherwildphotography
  • It’s s thing we all do as humans. It’s driven by a core unconscious fear of not being enough. And most of all, it’s just not true. We can lose it all chasing a worth that is innate. Stop that right now. Don’t be a silly billy.
  • Mountain hikes are like life. A lot of it really sucks and if you rush to the top, the view is less satisfying. The moments at the top of the mountain, bottom and mid hike are all equal in value. In fact, the valleys, where the cow shit percentile is peaking and the swampy grasslands are ankle deep is where the real juice of life is experienced. The big deal about the peak is that it’s just not that big of a deal. Everyone’s version of “top” or “peak” is different but one thing remains the same. If we realized that it’s a harsh exchange for that rushed high, we’d stop trying to spend so much of our energy and time sprinting there. Along the way losing our heart, friends, alignment, happiness, wellbeing, breath, flow and energy. Instead we’d slow, pace, check in, adjust course and enjoy. You know - love w little. Everybody wants to be on the mountaintop, but if you'll remember, mountaintops are rocky and cold. There is no growth on the top of a mountain. Sure, the view is great, but what's a view for? A view just gives us a glimpse of our next destination-our next target. But to hit that target, we must come off the mountain, go through the valley, and begin to climb the next slope. It is in the valley that we slog through the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life's next peak. A few hundred thousand steps and mountains reached in a variety of conditions over the last 10 days reminds me - the glory is in each step. Sounds corny AF. But honestly, the views up top are magic, there is no denying that kind if breathtaking beauty. But what about the hours it took to get there? If there’s no mindfulness on the way up, you’ll not only be limiting your experience of joy during the hike to those moments on the peak. You will have learned NOTHING except how many steps you can go until you almost pass out ❤️
  • Life is quite the beauty when you slow it down a little. A reminder to follow the pace of your breath. The mind is a fab tool but a shitty master. It will panic, complain, blame, doubt, victimize, criticize and run stories of fear and worst case scenarios. All in an attempt to keep its little, “me” alive. You don’t need that me, you just need breath, heart, focus and courage. Oh, and coffee. Bloody nailed #vanlife coffee yesterday in my Batman sock and a cup. #newzealand #mindfulness #slowdown
  • Reminder to open. Always.
  • Hiking and vanlifin’ are quite the epitome of reward through resilience. The 10 degree “baths” and mosquitoes are bloody-well worth the views. Mother N, you’re fucking gorgeous. #wanaka #vanlife #nature #hiking #newzealand #camping #resilience #mountains #picothebloodyday
  • Av’ a ripper of a New Year, dudes. Don’t get too caught up in what it’s meant to be like. Because you know what. Anything (especially orgasms), if you push too hard or think about it too much about it, gets ruin. We fuck it all up by playing it out in our minds about how it has to be. My biggest learning in 2018 - ehhh actually, fuck, life in general. Is that life changes rapidly and almost always in ways that you’d not only not expect. Just like New Zealand weather (see photos 24 hours apart) But also how you’d least desire (at first). At least at first. Until we (and hopefully you do) choose to step back from the noise about how it all “should” be and start being with how it is. And then what we were fighting so hard against ends up being something fairly magical. What this tells is, is that the fears we have about unexpected or unwanted change is absolutely 10000% just an idea in our head. We’re so afraid of the unknown, what if we stopped that? How much more do ease could happen in your world? How much more goodness could unfold, and at what rate? How much life are you fighting against even now without even realising it? Don’t forget these few things. 1. The universe is much smarter than the minds ideas about how it should be. 2. You’re the fucking universe. Let yourself move. 3. Choose your heart, listen to your gut and use your head. 4. Trust life but lock your car. 5. Remember that contentment, joy, happiness and freedom aren’t anywhere expect that space between the noise. Visit it. Cultivate it. Live from it. 6. One of my favs from a mentor of mine @hayleycarr.tv goals are placed to come from, not go to. Focus on what you want, shift into the energy of it and go from there. 7. If you’re going to learn fast and live to the fullest, be willing to fail spectacularly. THIS was my 2018. I did some really rad shit this year. Specially @calmmindproject but I also got incredibly side tracked in other aspects of my life and boi has life kicked my ass. I’ll never forget what it feels like, in my bones and soul, to ignore my intuition. Ahhh, what a treat of a lesson. Happy life, loves. Thanks for your e-presence in my ❤️
  • It’s hard to smell the roses when you’ve buried your face in sh*t. I’m guilty of holding onto an idea about a part of myself I’m trying to “improve” or “fix”. Maybe if I think about it, talk about it, complain about it and place it under a microscope it’ll change? Maybe if I criticize and judge myself over and over again about my “imperfections” and reasons that justify my lack of success or ultimate worth, then, and only then will I feel whole. Idiots, we are. But also. Innocent and pure. The illusionary nature of our “me” is so exquisitely deceptive that it focuses directly on all of the stories, actions and beliefs that hold us down and keep us locked into feeling below average and or below worthy of acceptance and love. What if we just let them go? Because, did you know. That’s absolutely possible. Love, me
  • The humans who helped make me into a human, all in the same vicinity. #family #wecray #love #mydadiskevincostner #christmastime #happy #instalove

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